You my friend are a dork. LOL. A colorful dork that has aspirations of writing like Anthony Bourdain. As I read your email I had the Mario “death” song running through my head. The one from Super Mario Bros where Mario touches a fireball while he’s not supped up on shrooms as big as his head. Total fail. He he. I now know why we can’t have nice things at [Where we work]. Apparently you sir need to work on your mad Matrix slow motion skills and invest in Velcro boots… perhaps even in those power Nike’s from Back to the Future. I hear there still selling those on eBay.
I would be most grateful if you or Queen DorkLord would be so kind to find a replacement from my small but reliable French Press that for some unknown reason is made in Italy. Apparently the Italians love their coffee too.
Dude with a Busted French Press crying in the corner.